Thursday, May 21, 2009

Framed Visions

In the stillness of the night. Lonesome. Calm and cooling.

I take a deep breath, thinking about things. "I shouldn't be thinking about this." I told myself.
Yet it keeps on playing on like a broken record. I can only sigh. 

I looked around my room. I then realized that I've been living in this room, my own little sanctuary, for a little more than 9 years. Feels much shorter than that to be honest. So much memories. I can still remember my first night in this room. Feels like yesterday. One thing I'll miss more is my car. My companion for the past 4 years. My best friend so to speak. All the late nights, early mornings. Road trips, friends, family. My batmobile. Gen2 Merah Membara, Ja said. Haha.

Speaking of good times made me realize that everything and everyone, has a special place in my life. My weird little hobbies. Makes me smile every single time. 

Its time to go.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Update.

Decided to change the blog's layout. The polkas been there since... God knows how long. New layout is just the standard template. But it's minimalist. And also dark. 


Enjoice. Lul.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Untitled #2

Have you ever wondered what is it like to look back at your teenage life, more precisely teenage love life when you are older? I know I have. It seems kind of surreal to me to be honest. All our lives, as teenagers, not being able to be with someone is usually because the other person is with somebody else or they simply don't want to be with another person. When a relationship ends, it is usually the end of the story or sometimes the ending of the emotion towards each other. 

As I've gotten older, especially of late, it got me thinking. What if I'm in love with someone who's getting married? What if the love of my life died? What will happen to me? Does one simply move on and get along with life like in the earlier stages of his life? Or should one stay and devote to the feelings they hold dear to them? 

I can't give you my answer. Because simply, I don't know what my answer is. I've had my older friends share with me their life. One told me that she once bumped into an old love. Only to find out that he doesn't even remember who she is. Even though married, she explained that old memories of significant people in our lives tend to stay, for her side at least. Can you imagine that? Bumping into someone who to you is significant to your life only to find out that the other person doesn't even remember who you are?

I've recently got to know about my father's friend, who is married, but is having an affair. Suprisingly, its with his old high school sweetheart.  So I thought to myself. What if one day, after marriage, I still have feelings for old flames? To those that know me well enough will know that I'm not one to have feelings towards multiple people. But what if you can't have the one that means the most? Only to have a chance with them later in time? I find it very hard to decide if I were to be put into that situation, especially I've always said that I only want one woman in my life. So really, is there right or wrong in this? Follow the heart or follow the brain? Logic versus emotions. 

Then again, I might just be thinking too much. All these late nights doing nothing has put my brain into overdrive with these random thoughts. I guess I shall leave these thoughts here for the moment, and ponder upon another matter. 

Until then.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

New Look.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Loot of the Day
















Even with the new stuff, my heart aches as I managed to lose 50 Ringgit somewhere. Haihs. Careless me. =/

Monday, May 04, 2009

Waking up to the Sun

Sometimes, you don't realize how much things have changed. I guess it's because we only see our view of things. Just few days back i realized, that I've been wearing and owning my Brazil jersey for 12 years. I thought to myself, "Wow, I can still fit it even now." Then you start to see even bigger things, like how younger people just seem like they are the same age as you. We go to college, we go classes. Heck some graduate faster than us. =/

At times, I guess I get too complacent with life. Which is unhealthy I think. I shouldn't be. We shouldn't be. Took me more than 5 years to sort of figure out what I want to do with my life. At least I think I know. Or do I? Hmm. But yea, at least now I'm trying to get my life on track and trying to get things done. Don't get me wrong, not that I never did or try, I just didn't or couldn't find a way or reason to. As with most things, motivation is a very significant factor. 

I've only roughly have 4 weeks left before I fly off. Quite frankly, it is intimidating. I've been wanting to fly off to another country for quite a while. Never have I thought I'd be nervous about it. Some of you might think that I'd be worried about cooking or doing my own laundry. Heck no, I've been doing my laundry for half my life, just not the adult half. Its more about being in a place you're not familiar with. The different culture, people and rules. I do tend to make a fool out of myself. Doesn't help that I did it in Australia of all places. Some of you would know what I'm talking about. Yes. That incident. Stop laughing. I mean it.

What makes it worse is that I have yet to find a place to stay. To be honest, I'm quite particular about it. No, I'm not expecting a fancy bachelor pad or something, just something comfy and cosy. Somewhere I don't have to worry about cooking, or laundry, or hanging out. Somewhere I don't have to worry about having weird housemates or room mates. The horror. I've been telling my parents that I want a place in town. For reasons that I think are fair enough. My mom on the other hand insist that I stay in a dorm, near to campus. Simply because she wants me to be near to campus so that I won't be late. Frankly, I can practically live in class and still be late. So why bother. Its not that I want to be late, just saying that if I were to be late. I will. No matter where I stay. No?

I'll update more when I have the time. 

Toodles~