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Have you ever wondered what is it like to look back at your teenage life, more precisely teenage love life when you are older? I know I have. It seems kind of surreal to me to be honest. All our lives, as teenagers, not being able to be with someone is usually because the other person is with somebody else or they simply don't want to be with another person. When a relationship ends, it is usually the end of the story or sometimes the ending of the emotion towards each other. 

As I've gotten older, especially of late, it got me thinking. What if I'm in love with someone who's getting married? What if the love of my life died? What will happen to me? Does one simply move on and get along with life like in the earlier stages of his life? Or should one stay and devote to the feelings they hold dear to them? 

I can't give you my answer. Because simply, I don't know what my answer is. I've had my older friends share with me their life. One told me that she once bumped into an old love. Only to find out that he doesn't even remember who she is. Even though married, she explained that old memories of significant people in our lives tend to stay, for her side at least. Can you imagine that? Bumping into someone who to you is significant to your life only to find out that the other person doesn't even remember who you are?

I've recently got to know about my father's friend, who is married, but is having an affair. Suprisingly, its with his old high school sweetheart.  So I thought to myself. What if one day, after marriage, I still have feelings for old flames? To those that know me well enough will know that I'm not one to have feelings towards multiple people. But what if you can't have the one that means the most? Only to have a chance with them later in time? I find it very hard to decide if I were to be put into that situation, especially I've always said that I only want one woman in my life. So really, is there right or wrong in this? Follow the heart or follow the brain? Logic versus emotions. 

Then again, I might just be thinking too much. All these late nights doing nothing has put my brain into overdrive with these random thoughts. I guess I shall leave these thoughts here for the moment, and ponder upon another matter. 

Until then.